...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
