Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
