Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
