Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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