that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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