My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
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