Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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