nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
