it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
