smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize