Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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