My brain says no but my pants say off.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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