Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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