Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize