Ambien. No doubt about it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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