That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize