He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
