Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
