please come you make the beer taste better
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
