Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
