I bet he comes in French.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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