Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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