i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We don't watch enough power rangers
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
