butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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