I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
