I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
