So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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