I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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