I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I take back everything I said about communal showers
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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