Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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