You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
