She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
