All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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