So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
