hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
