It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
