I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
