you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize