We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
