All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
