Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
