I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
