I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
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Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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