every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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