everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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