It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
