I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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