I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
