btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
