it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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