I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Congratulations! We have a period
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
