you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
