tell your sister to shave her snatch
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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