So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm passing your future prison.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
