did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
