Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
