you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
