all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize